you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize