thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize