yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize