my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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