HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize