im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My ass is underappreciated
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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