i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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