Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles

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  (212): Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles http://tfl.nu/ttbo
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.

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  (203): When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you. http://tfl.nu/1g0q
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (2624) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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  (518): He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/iuj0
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (2315) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?

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  (717): so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong? http://tfl.nu/4brz
  Replies (28) Good night (3623) Bad night (749)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.

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  (402): Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice. http://tfl.nu/dl8a
  Replies (9) Good night (725) Bad night (3543) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.

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  (250): I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can. http://tfl.nu/1tw1
  Replies (16) Good night (3073) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.

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  (702): Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog. http://tfl.nu/spgx
  Replies (8) Good night (916) Bad night (5078) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.

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  (330): I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life. http://tfl.nu/ydnu
  Replies (5) Good night (793) Bad night (3350) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.

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  (817): she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student. http://tfl.nu/paxd
  Replies (13) Good night (1550) Bad night (3149) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons

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  (416): When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons http://tfl.nu/nkke
  Replies (5) Good night (1712) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences

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  (303): We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences http://tfl.nu/lf6j
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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  (914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1
  Replies (6) Good night (477) Bad night (886) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  "So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins

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  (304): "So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins http://tfl.nu/eetx
  Replies (1) Good night (1129) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can vaginas get frostbite?

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  (757): Can vaginas get frostbite? http://tfl.nu/ne3s
  Replies (12) Good night (339) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

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  (615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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