you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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