I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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