I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize