I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
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I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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