If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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