i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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