What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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