i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
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You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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