my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize