Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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