there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
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It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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