did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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