New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize