You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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