he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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