Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't deserve a penis
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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