Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize