yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
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Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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