My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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