I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
home. puking in laundry basket.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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