Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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