We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
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I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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