Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize