he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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