Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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