Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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