Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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