Where did you get a picture of my penis
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize