it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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