The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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