I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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