why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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