I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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