Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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