He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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