Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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