i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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