she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize