yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
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The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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