Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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