I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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