Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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